One of those brief snippets of time when we were both "Oh, this makes sense now."
When you've been with someone for so long and are s-l-o-w-l-y awaiting your wedding day, sometimes there are a lot of "Why, God, why?" days.
Why do we have to wait so long?
Why do we see each other so little?
Why do we tend to argue more as time goes by?
And the answer is because we NEED to. I've never been naive to the fact that God has used our long relationship and engagement to only benefit us. 4 years away at college seems like forever, but there's days when God blesses you with a showing of His view of the "Big Picture" instead of our tiny little piece in time. And today we got that blessing!
Billy and I are sort of opposites.
In some ways were 100% alike, like our sarcasm and love of exercise. And other ways we are polar opposite, in ways such as problem solving or social interaction. When I'm angry I like to cool down and move on, while Billy is a "hammer-it-out-now" kind of guy. I'm a social person who will find anything to make conversation, while he refuses to talk about the weather just because that's the only thing to talk about. (Don't ever tell him we're having nice weather today.)
Our biggest disagreements have been in the area of child-rearing/choices. Sometimes we get funny looks when people hear us talking about such things before we're even married, but call us crazy, we'd rather figure this stuff out before "there's no going back." And it works for us.
Its been tough. I guess you could say I'm sort of....a hippie. Home birth vs. Hospital birth, Breastfeeding without a cover, Vaccines vs. Non-vax, anti-infant circumcision, spending the extra dollar on healthier food choices. These are all battles we had to duke out together as a couple who would have to live together with our choices. And we've disagreed on every single one of these topics throughout the years. Some got really ugly, some were simple fixes between us. As a "crunchy" girl and him being in the medical field, you can imagine the debates. And to further that, when you know how stubborn both of us are, our coming to a like-minded solution really is nothing short of a dang miracle.
And today we solved another one. My heart soars when we reach the same opinion, especially when I know it's God's work in us. And we both know that if we had gotten married sooner, it would have been harder. So for a brief moment we can stand back and say "Okay, I see it." We needed these 4 years to get to know each other deeper before living in the same tiny room. Someone could get hurt.
Would we have made it if we went through all these struggles without being able to go home to different houses to defuse? I believe so. I know he's for me and I for him, so it will all work out. Would it have been a tougher road than I can even imagine? I don't even want to think about it.
I am a firm believer in giving relational disagreements to God. I've done it every time thus far, and it has blessed our relationship and my nerves. God will solve things on His time. Even in problems where I yell "Oh my gosh, he will never see where I'm coming from!" Even on the days when I knows he's right and I'm not (those are the worst! Right?) But we've always solved it. In time.
Thank goodness for the big picture. And thank goodness for Billy's infinite wisdom that even though I am way more difficult than he deserves most days, everything goes smoother when you give a girl grace.
-Britney
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