All is Well

God has been doing so much lately!

In reality, If I were to have a conversation with someone detailing all the things He's done, I honestly don't think I could pinpoint all the little touches. You know, like when you can't stop looking at your spouse or significant other and you keep stupidly smiling at them; which leads them to ask "what?"

and your brilliant mind only comes up with "I don't know, I just love you.."

Because you just can't put into words in that moment all the things you notice about them, all the small glances you send their way as you watch them live their life- you just soak it all in, and can only muster "I don't know" in response to why you're staring.

And that's basically how I'm feeling about Jesus lately.

I can't place my finger on exactly what is going on or give a reason to why I'm more enthralled now than last month. I feel more connected, I have a hunger that I just can't seem to quench. I have 3 hours alone every morning at my workplace with access to an awesome speaker system that I get to use. I usually have worship music on for that time, but recently I've been loving listening to sermons from a church I adore: Bethel Church in Redding, California. My church- Bethel Cleveland- is not directly a branch of Bethel Redding, but they like to follow in its footsteps. 

With all the things I've laid out in my previous post, which you can read here, it has been a busy year and life has gotten in the way of who truly deserves my attention: my Saviour. Stress has gotten the best of me. But then again, who hasn't stress robbed at some point? I don't think I know one person who can say they've escaped that terrible hole every time it comes into their path.

As I've gotten to listen to sermons in the morning, it's been helping to realign my thinking and renew my mind. And, thanks a lot, now I'm a sappy mess most of the time. I see one sentimental thing and my new-found mushy heart makes me cry. (Ladies, anyone?) Netflix, tears. Seeing a family with little kids, crying.  Deep & profound quote hanging on a wall somewhere, here comes the flood.

That is one of the many things popping up in my daily life as Jesus does more and more heavy lifting for me. I'm remembering to consider people's feelings more deeply, to give more grace to daily happenings, to turn to prayer more often as a solution to my problems.

As a testament to my growth, I saw a necklace that I just had to buy when I walked into a boutique the other week. Really, I probably shouldn't have been in there since stuff costs, ya know, money...but I went in and I saw it and I had to have it.

Disclaimer, I DID text my husband to make him aware that I was buying jewelry. It is a small charm necklace with the simple phrase "It is well with my soul"

That's it. Tears. In the store.

Because it was! I was yelling in my head, "Yes! It IS well with my soul! What a coincidence."

That summed it up. This little green patch of spiritual growth that has snuck its way into my life was printed in physical form on a necklace that I saw the when I walked in the door. All is well with my soul; and that is the full accumulation of the little touches God has been doing, the answer to the "I don't know"s of why I've been so enthralled with my saviour lately-

He has settled my soul.

And when your soul is settled & your heart is full, you have peace.

I still have hard days at work. I still get prickly sometimes and don't think about the consequences of my words or actions before I blurt them out or make snap judgements. In fact, I had a rough day at work about 5 hours ago.

But, all is well with my soul.

And that is really as good as it gets. I'm thankful, I'm happy with life, I love my husband, I have coffee every day- perfection.

So, that's the little snippet of the grace this girl has grown in this week.

I hope all is well with your soul, too!

-Britney

Embrace the Gray

It's been quite some time since my last blog post. A year I think. 

Kinda crazy, as I feel I always have a story to tell someone or something I find funny to share. I guess you don't really realize how busy life is until you look back and realize how much you didn't get done!

In 12 months SO much has unfolded into my husband & mine's life; 

We've celebrated an anniversary

We've moved

We became godparents to another beautiful girl

We became an Aunt and Uncle

I've gotten a promotion at work

He's gotten a new job and started his Doctorate degree in school

Sadly, we have also lost a greatly loved friend of ours

And I have had to say goodbye to one of my two pets.

As the days go by and the time goes faster, I've come to learn that the more you learn to appreciate and love life the more gray hairs you start to get on your head. At least I think that's what it must mean because I love life more than I ever have, but life is also harder than its ever been and I have more gray hair than I ever thought I would at 23.

It's starting to really show...

What in the world? I got my first gray hair at 19. I'll never forget standing in my parent's bathroom at home and seeing it. I've always had a thing for gray. I think its beautiful, nothing to be ashamed of. I even have resolved that I'd never dye mine, never cover that beauty up. I just didn't think I'd have it yet. But there it was. Bright white. Making me stare wide-eyed.

That first gray was the fruit of working at my Jimmy John's. We opened in November of 2011 and I had gray coming in before February '12.

I probably had 6 or 7 from then 'til now. Nothing huge. In May of this year I got promoted to general manager.

It has been a blessing. For me, for my household, for my family's future.

For my hair though....my grays have quadrupled. It actually stunned me this week as I stood in my newly moved-in bathroom and rushed to put my hair in a messy bun to get to the gym- SO many grays! 25+ easy.

I'm coming to terms. Trying to remember all those deep and sentimental things you see online that say "gray hair means you cared" etc. Proverbs 31:25 resonates with me like that. I don't fear the future and I carry happiness of my past. So I'm going to start celebrating the proof that I've lived the life I've lived!

One gray for my fantastic husband who I kiss goodbye every morning before work

One gray for the job that takes so much of my time every day but blesses me so

One gray for the coworkers and lifelong friends I get to work beside

One gray for each of my gorgeous goddaughters, Bree & Emery

One gray for the beautiful woman that was and is Jayne Yuravak

One gray for the pets that I've been entrusted with

One gray for the bigger house I've been lucky enough to have and make a home

One gray for my beautiful new nephew, Brody

And many grays for the nights I worry about my husband until he walks in the door.

I guess when it comes down to it I'm thankful, because God has given me so much to care for. So many things and so many people to love and to worry for. I'll embrace the gray if that's the physical proof of a heart well-used.

Just don't forget to give a graying girl some grace! (I'm getting old, after all)

Britney

I'm Back!

It's been a while.

I'm in the process of re-vamping the blog, and it takes a long time! I'm not very tech-savvy. I am sad that I didn't get to walk everyone through the crazy summer of weddings and melt-downs, but I promise to fill it all in.

I'm a wife now! To a spectacular guy. There are so many stories to be shared! So many goof-ups.

Bear with me as I try to revive the life of this site over the weeks and get back to posting weekly.

Thanks for the grace!

-Britney

Just GO

Does anyone else have a passion to travel?

Not just the "oh, that place looks cool to see someday," but the "I-NEED-to-go!" kind?

I am part of the latter.

I wouldn't consider it a positive or a negative. 

It's both. 

Positive, because what a beautiful dream to have! To want to see the world and all that God made. I mean really, what is the point of beauty except to be seen? I'll take that job any day.

It is only negative because it is not in my life line of to-dos right now. I have a full-time job, I have bills and an apartment, I have a fiancé and a wedding coming up this summer, and pets to care for. Who can just pick up and go?

Some people do. Some people have the finances and freedom to really squeeze all the beauty of life into their eyes.

I'd love to go see the most crystal clear Flathead Lake in Montana. Go see Calf Creek Falls in Utah. Go on the River Walk in San Antonio, Texas. Go star gazing in Michigan. Walk in the valleys in Ireland. Site-see in London. Stare at the ocean from a cliff-side cottage in Greece.

Any maybe someday I will!

I believe God puts our passions in our hearts. The real passions. I've always been a home-body, wanting security and stability. All of the sudden in the last 5-ish years, I want to go everywhere!

Where the heck does that come from? I used to love the idea of my 9-5 job going steady until I became a housewife and mom. Now, I want to be a housewife and mother who goes beautiful places.

I know its not rational, and that God has blessed Bill and I with his education and a good long-term plan. And I am happy with the hand I've been dealt giving me Bill and our future together. I know he will excel at his job, and we will not lack. It will be a beautiful adventure.

My fiancé knows my love to travel. (At least I think.) He just this week booked our honeymoon to a resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. I'm thrilled! The sights we will see! I even need a passport for this.

In honor of my passion, I am going to be making a collage canvas of a poem/quote I found online. It speaks to me so deeply, I need to have it on my wall. Maybe even over my bed. Every word and sentence is the essence of my heart. I hope others can enjoy it as well, and that in our lives we all come to realize -at some point- that the only restrictions we have are the ones we give ourselves. I believe that God intends for all of us to see the beauty He created in this life, in our own ways and our own time;

From something as extravagant as traveling this world, to something as whimsical as walking through the woods on a foggy summer morning.

"I want to live simply.

 I want to sit by the window when it rains

 and read a book I'll never be tested on.

                                     I want to paint because I want to,

not because I've got something to prove.

I want to listen to my body,

fall asleep when the moon is high

and wake up slowly,

with no place to rush off to.

I want not to be governed by money

or clocks or any of the artificial

restraints that humanity

imposes on itself. I just want to be,

boundless and infinite."

Well Done, Sailor

 This weekend was one that is not to be forgotten.
My little brother of 18 graduated Naval basic on Friday February 7th. He has been away at the Great Lakes Navy base going through training for 8 weeks. I was happy and lucky enough to receive many letters from him as well as a few phone calls!
Either way, it was a long 8 weeks. Especially with celebrating Christmas and New Years for the first time without him.

We left on the car ride to Chicago Thursday evening with my parents, sisters and I and my brother's mutual friend, Josh.
We got to the hotel around 11 Thursday night, meeting our Aunt Mary who flew in from Florida.
After only like 5 hours of sleep, my parents, aunt and I were off to the graduation.
Of course we would have to wait an hour in line - outside - to gain admittance to the ceremony. And of course, it would be -5 outside. I don't think I've ever been more freezing in my life!
When we finally got inside and found a seat the ceremony started. As all of the divisions marched in from a door leading outside, I was basically jumping out of my skin waiting for Matthew. I wanted to see him! See him in his new uniform, see if he looked any different!

Division 088

When him and his Division got in the door and came down the isle way, I found him! He looked so grown up. As soon as we were allowed to go find them downstairs and they announced liberty I took off. I found him right away! I've never missed my brother so much. I didn't want to stop hugging him.

He did look older. Much older. In his blue uniform with his cap on.

We only had from noon until 7:30, when he had to be back on base. Then he was stuck there again until 1:00am when we would meet him at the airport for a few hours before his flight.

When we got him back to the hotel, we celebrated a late Christmas with him. I think he was pretty excited to open some presents. Josh and my sisters had decorated the room while we were gone; lights, a mini tree, and even Christmas music!
He told us stories from basic; how his friends would call him "cinnamon stick" because they couldn't pronounce Simoncic. (Don't worry Matthew, I've already got the Apple Jacks cinna-mon printed out, waiting for your face to be pasted on.) How his favorite part of basic was cleaning the bathrooms because they could goof off in there. And how he didn't like wearing the assigned "skivvies" so he didn't, and others followed suit. Then they got in trouble.

Matthew wanted to go to downtown Chicago for our day together, so that's what we did. We went to the Hershey store, and other places on Michigan Avenue. If only it wasn't so cold! He would have graduation on a day that was below zero. But we did really enjoy going to the famous Giordano's Pizza for some Chicago deep dish. And it was fantastic. I had a great time seeing my brother in a daily task as simple as eating together. 

We had to get him back by 7:30, and we did. Even through traffic on Chicago highways, during rush hour, on a Friday. Back on base, (and through the trip) I think I've bought enough Navy and "Proud Navy Sister" apparel enough to last me 10 years. I think that's okay though. I'm allowed to be proud. And so are my parents. And basically anyone that knows him.
My family and I got a quick doze back at the hotel from about 9pm-1am and then it was off to O'Hare. Which was about a 45 minute drive. It felt like nothing though; we had energy drinks and skittles and I was ready to spend all night there if it meant getting more time with him! After wandering around baggage claims and terminals, we found the USO lodgings and terminal where all the sailors were waiting- Mounds of green duffle bags and back packs laying around, a few families sitting with their Navy loved-ones waiting for boarding. We sort of created our own pow-wow circle by a grouping of bags and just sat. We ate our candy and just...hung out. And it was fantastic.
Do we realize in today's world how often we don't do that? When we should? If I knew my brother would end up over 700+ miles away from me before I even married, hell I would have pow-wowed every day.

Don't waste time.

pow-wow

After a while we decided to go check out the USO room. The one we visited at Hopkins before Matthew left for basic was so nice, comfortable, and welcoming. Unfortunately, there were so many sailors shipping out, families couldn't wait with them in the lodgings. (Which was hella sweet, by the way.) So despite Matthew's new friends asking if he was going to hang out in there, and my dad assuring Matthew that he could stay in there for a while and we'd be fine, he chose to walk away. And we returned to our floor-sitting, candy-eating circle.

I don't think my brother will ever understand how much that meant. To me at least. I'm sure my family identifies with my feelings, though. Maybe I'm over-emotional, feeling all "you-don't-know-what-you-have-'til-its-gone," but I treasured every moment sitting on my coat in the airport. And if I could do it again I would. Everything was an adventure. Even going to the bathroom...in which I realized you change the automatic liner on the toilet before you sit, not after. Who reads directions to go to the bathroom...? Apparently I will from now on.

Time came for him to go through security. Ugh, 4:45. So I hugged him. And everyone else hugged him. And I hugged him again. And he was off to get in line. 

For the rest of my life, I will probably remember watching the back of his head walking in line as we were going back up the escalator to work our way out. I just keep feeling like saying "Hey, military, don't you know I need him too?"

Its probably over-dramatic. Probably insignificant to those who haven't had to do it. And no, my brother isn't in harm's way. Its not like he's being deployed and I have a fear of not seeing him again. But he's still...gone.
From daily life, anyway. I can still text and call him, a luxury we did not have while he was in basic.

I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea here about my feelings.

I am 100% happy for my brother. I know he is exactly where he is supposed to be. I respect and admire our military members, and know my brother is completely noble in his joining. In our car ride, I asked him if he was still the "same," and he said yes. And he was- same personality, same goofiness, same softness. Basic hadn't turned him into some lean, mean, killing machine that's cold. But he was different. In a good way. Structure looked good on him. He walked straighter. Looked taller. Seemed ready for orders. Seemed respectful. Looked purpose-filled. Seemed...grown up. He had this...honorable air about him that you associate with old-school "yes ma'am" military men in movies. There's really no other words I can find to describe how my little brother looked.

 The Navy looked good on him.

We're still not completely sure if he will be able to have leave for Bill & mine's wedding. Matthew seems fairly confident, but I told him not to tell me unless he knows for sure. Too much stress.

If there's one thing I learned for sure these past two months -and especially the last 5 days- is that distance truly does make the heart grow fonder. I already knew this because of my fiance being in Columbus for 4 years, but even more-so with my brother. So how do we cope with the sadness?

Matching tattoos, of course.

My brother told me that the Naval Compass Rose symbolizes always being able to find your way home. He wants to get one over his left pec, and I will be doing the same. Higher up. With some added tweaks of my own. (I can't be too masculine, now)

But that's that! 

The unforgettable trip. 

The ever life-altering scenario.

My view.

But I sure love my Sailor.

Well done, cinnamon stick.

moments after finding him

-Britney

Can You Spare a Quarter?

Apartment life has definitely been a blessing! But also extremely life-changing for me. Its amazing how fulfilling and happy it makes me to have a few hours one day to clean, do dishes, do laundry, and possibly cook some real food other than bagels.
So many little things pop up that no one ever thinks about while living at home. Granted, yes I was fully aware of small daily tasks at home, such as taking out the garbage, cleaning up the living room, etc. Most people (I hope) are, even as teens. But you don't realize how time comsuming - HOW NECESSARY- these little daily tasks are until you live on your own. If you don't do them, no one will! And if you want a presentable, cozy & clean home to come home to every night after work, strap the rubber gloves on.
And you don't realize how much hair falls out of your head everywhere every day until you live with another girl and have to sweep! (Jenelle and I are quite the shedders. Long hair problems, I guess.)

My biggest hurdle has been laundry. I DO keep up with it fine! I even separate my whites from darks....only because the washing machine here isn't big enough for both, though. I'm not that mom-ish yet to care. Why do my work socks need to be bleach-white anyway? Who cares.

Anyway.

But the quarters to start the machines. Oh, the quarters. It takes 10 quarters a load! So, on my day off, if I do both of my loads, its 20 quarters. Yeah, that's what I said. Who just has loads of quarters laying around?
So of course I've been scrounging. A quarter from someone at work, 2 from my car, finding them, whatever.
And I am proud to say as I type this that I have accumulated enough to put in a load of whites this morning.
I may have gambled to win 8 of those quarters from my employees at work, but that's okay too. As long as I have a clean pair of white, ankle-covering, uniform-approved socks for work today, I'm happy.

(No, This is not the 1st load of laundry I've done since moving day.)

Little Beauties

My eyes -physical and spiritual- have been glued to the little things going on in my life.
For those who know me, you know I have been in wedding-planning mode since 2012! Slowly and surely, being sure to take my time and enjoy every aspect of planning...this will only happen ONCE in my life! And God has blessed Bill and I with a wedding season almost 3 years in length. How lucky are we?! That's a lot of cherished moments.

As wedding prices and "normal" wedding budgets rear their ugly heads, from Pinterest to wedding websites, I was beginning to get overwhelmed; the wedding is 7 months away today!  And I feel as if nothing is done! Or at least, I will be broke by the time it IS. (Probably the latter.)

But God said "No"

The word "No" from God is ever so sweet when it comes concerning your fears. 

Will we be broke after this wedding? "No"

Will I lose my mind? "No"

Will we rush so much, I will miss the joy of this season? "No"

Rather, all I keep hearing in my heart is "Be still, and know that I am God." (Pslam 46:10)

Never, in my life, has God tangibly proven His presence in my life. I mean like solid, undeniable, unquestionable, crazy, stupid favor.

Please, let me list them off. I will start with my apartment situation, and go from there.

- I am so content and so at peace with my living arrangement. Be-a-u-t-i-f-u-l apartment.

- I absolutely adore my roommate; one of the best decisions of my life

- Almost my entire apartment is furnished with hand-me-downs, family heirlooms, and thrift store finds. And i love it all so much, I don't even know what Billy and I will put on our wedding registry.

- My mother-in-law has given me a couch, and gorgeous (no exaggeration, no falling short) solid dark wood bedroom furniture. Billy and I will probably have it our entire lives. I don't know what could replace such beauty.

- I have received 4 new pairs of tennis shoes in a time when I really needed new ones and don't have spare cash. Now I have options!

-I have an adorable cat, who is more like a dog than a cat. Score!

- I have been able to purchase a $1600 KING size pillow-top mattress for $800 in September, pay it off in increments of my choice, and have it delivered in August to mine&Billy's home. No lay-away fee.

-Today, got King size flannel bed sheets for $20. Twenty. Dollars.

That's my home-life.Amazing. On top of that, the wedding blessings are rolling in. God is just soaking Bill&I with provision, and I need to tell people!

- I am getting my dream wedding dress custom made for $500 cheaper than at a bridal store I saw a similar dress at. AND she is a family friend. You can check her out by clicking here and support a private-owned business.

-We are getting our church venue, tech work, and a musician for a grand total of about $250

- Our wedding date got double booked, so we are having it on a Friday now and saving $2/head for our 300 count guest list

- A long-time friend of my mother's is doing our wedding cake! Sure to be more affordable than a shop.

-Billy's Aunt is doing all of our floral work. We pay for the flowers, and she is doing our arrangements and center-pieces for f-r-e-e

-To make said center-pieces, I have been blessed to be working at Jimmy Johns and have been able to save all of our glass Grey Poupon jars over the last 2 years. Mason Jars. Free. I have probably close to 80. Again I say, f-r-e-e.

-We just got an email from our catering company, telling us that all of the metal folding chairs that get used at our venue (usually couples just rent chair covers for them) have been replaced with brand-new plastic wedding chairs. So they will be included for our wedding day. No chair covers needed.

-Billy and I have been needing to set up food tasting. Near impossible, as Billy will only be home once a month this semester. This week, I got an email that there is an open house at our catering company to try all their foods and ask questions on Sunday, January 26th. Billy comes home for an already-planned visit on Friday the 24th-26th.

-We met with our officiant for pre-marital counseling last week. Not only does he see us doing quite well-off, but Billy and I had a very intimate one-on-one Starbucks date the week prior and grew so much as a couple, as we saw that almost all of our answers in our booklets were identical. Not because they were all ideal, but because we both knew what the other wanted and what we expect from eachother and is expected from us by each other.

Now the biggest one. Photography.

It has been my dream to have 2 photographers. Wedding photography is hella-expensive. We would be pushing it affording just one. I mean $2-$3k for photos? Its totally worth it- wedding photos are priceless- but I can't afford that price.

That being said, my beautiful friend Abby offered to do ours. For Free. I was ecstatic. On cloud 9. Free photos AND I love this girl. What a great way to share my day with her! I still wanted 2 photographers, but Billy and I decided to have her, and then maybe find a 2nd person to pay at a reasonable price, also.

Same day, I get an offer from from another friend. Her husband has been in photography for 10 years, and offered to shoot our wedding. For free.

So here I am, little me, with all these blessings already, and this happens to me. I about hit thankfulness overload. TWO PHOTOGRAPHERS?! Really God? For a grand total of $0.

And that's that. I just needed to share. I am fully expecting more blessings. I just had my live band contact me today and say they can't make our wedding date. I am sad, but after God's track record I can't help but sit here and think "Oh my, who do we have in store for us then?!"

God is good. He provides. He CARES about the little things. All these little beauties around us in life.

 I am blessed and I am content. Most of all, I'm excited! 

And that's what happens,

When You Give a Girl Grace

-Britney

That Day My Childhood Stopped

Summer 2010 or 2011

Well, it happened. My brother finally left for the Navy, 8 days ago. He is off at boot camp in Chicago for 2 months, then straight to Charleston, SC for 2 years of schooling in nuclear power. From SC, he will have 4 years active duty wherever they station him, followed by 2 years inactive. 8 years total of having my brother nowhere near me, plus more if he sticks with this as his life-long career choice. 8 in the bible means new beginnings. I choose to assume that's not a coincidence.
Its safe to say I haven't cried so much or been so....missing something in my heart, since my discovery of routine male infant circumcison (different topic, different time, point is I cried for weeks over those discoveries. Anyway.)
I miss my little brother!  But I am happy he has found his place, his niche, and direction for his life. I have been watching him closely over his teen years, and I know how much he has been yearning/searching for what his purpose is in life and where he should go after high school. I know men and women have equally important life roles and burdens to bear, but I must say I can't imagine the pressure that must be on young men's shoulders senior year of high school; To pick a college or trade, knowing that you must succeed to support a wife and children for virtually the next 50 years of your life. The decisions and stress! And I could visibly see it weighing on my brother. Maybe others could too, I don't know.

Summer 2012

But it doesn't change how much I miss him. We are 2 years apart and grew up together. We both equally love our little sisters, Trinity & Nika, but just as they have a special bond because they are doing childhood together, so Matthew and I have the same. Heck, we shared and room and bunk beds up until just 5 months ago!! Me being 21 and him 18! That's rare, if I can assume.
He annoyed me, literally all of my childhood. We did not get along, and had quite a few bumps throughout the teenage years.
And now we have gotten to singing in the car together to songs and video taping it, by free will. I wish that it had happened years sooner, realizing that that opportunity and time is gone now.

December 11, 2013. Shipping out.

There's probably a lot of things I'd do differently if I knew this is how our time together and childhood was going to end. Which is big for me, because I hardly ever admit I am wrong. Family trait I suppose. I'd hang out more. Put up with his snoring longer. Bought him more just-because gifts. Given him more rides.  Yelled at him less. Loved on him more.
I know I can still do all those things. But not necessarily as easily or frequently anymore. He used to wrestle me down and hug me and told me he loved me, and told Billy "I had her first." I would fight him off, deciding his loving behavior was so weird, because we just weren't like that! I don't think I ever even regularly hugged my brother- in our whole lives-  until he moved out in July and I couldn't see him every day anymore. Oh how I'd love that time back now!

I had the pleasure of praying over my brother at Worship one Monday night in 2012. I can't even remember all that was prophesied, but I distinctly remember telling him he was a shield; He was destined to protect, and that the earth will crack and shatter from beneath his footsteps, and his words have influence. It all makes sense now! Never before and never after that night have I ever prophesied over my little brother.
I plan on writing him quite often. He can't write any letters back for 3 weeks of boot camp, but I'll be expecting one soon.
I don't think Matthew has ever read my blog, but if he does I hope he sees this one post.

Matthew, I love you dearly. Annoying as you are.

You are MY little brother. I absolutely cherish the time we had growing up together.

Its sad that it took you leaving for the military for me to fully appreciate you and love you to the extent you deserve. I hope you find what you need, and God fills you with peace in your choices. You are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be. I have not one ounce of doubt in my heart. Keep your mind open, your heart soft, and your spirit fed.  Thrive in God's grace! You will grow into a fantastic man, husband, and dad.

-Big sister

Those aren't my bagels...

Hey everyone!
Its been a while, as I have been treading the waters of packing boxes, moving, setting up, etc. Busy weeks to say the least. And as I have a pile of dishes in the sink and one more box awaiting me to be unpacked, naturally I'd procrastinate and write my first blog post from my new apartment! What a thrill.

Living with my roomie and friend, Jenelle, has been fun! We kind of work opposite schedules and are almost never home at the same time, but when we are home we get along great.
Its been odd adjusting to living with someone other than a family member (for me at least) and its cool to see how we've learned to mold to the other's routines. The little things have been the most intriguing. For instance, can I use that bathroom drawer, or you? Or, when do you wanna shower? Oh, morning? Okay  you go first. We both have plates? Okay...where to put 80 million plates. Don't want my cat in your bed? Oh...here's a spray bottle, good luck...
And mugs.
We both have so many coffee/tea mugs, our main kitchen cupboard is dedicated to mugs and mugs alone. I love it. But it took us a few days to even collect enough silverware. Priorities, psh.

But I think the most hilarious thing we have encountered yet has been the mystery of the "Everything" Bagels sitting in the freezer. The whole first week we lived together, we both were eating from the same bad of Cinnamon Raisin bagels in the bread drawer. Every time I'd see her take one of my bagels, I'd just think "Well, no harm no foul. I can share I guess."
And then one day we got to the last bagel.
On a Saturday morning while making breakfast, Jenelle said something to the effect of "Oh, you've been eating my bagels." I was befuddled. I stared for second and said "No....you've been eating MY bagels..."
We both just stood there, stunned, in our little checkered-floor kitchen, not knowing what to do.
I could have SWORN I bought those cinnamon bagels. Those are my go-to bagels! So I say "Aren't those your Everything bagels in the freezer...?"
Jenelle says no. I know I didn't buy them...
We go back and forth for about 10 minutes about these darn bagels! Who bought them?! Who bought the cinnamon raisin ones?! Why is this happening so early in the morning?!
Turns out I bought them. I suppose. Makes sense. I love everything bagels. I do NOT remember buying them.
This realization of a mystery solved ends with me on the floor laughing til I almost pee my already-been-washed-in-a-$1.25-per-load pants, and Jenelle losing it.
So instead of us asking eachother, all week we just assumed that the other was stealing our bagels. Seems logical.
Oh, the joys of living with a roommate.

Good thing Jenelle knows how to give this girl a little grace. Especially living with my new kitten who just loves to take attempts on her life & sanity every day- It's a work in progress (: Thank goodness he doesn't mind being locked in linen closets for short spurts.

Love you, Roomie!!
-Britney

Shamy Gets a Kitten

 What an eventful few weeks! Halloween parties, kittens, fun, and of course we are now T-minus one week until my big move to Lakewood THIS Saturday. This Halloween William and I decided to be Dr. Sheldon Cooper and his sorta-girlfriend Neurologist Amy Farah Fowler from The Big Bang Theory. If you've never seen an episode, you need to. Extremely hilarious show. Inappropriate, but hilarious. Happily, we both had everything we needed to pull off the costumes except my $1.99 thrift store skirt we had to find and my $0.99 glasses Billy popped the lenses out of for me.

I think it turned out well!

We took a few pictures and headed out to our halloween party. I hope you enjoy the silliness as much as we did!

The left hand picture is of course, Billy and I, and next to it is a comparison to the TV couple.

We had a ton of fun with this. This is probably one of Billy's favorite shows, including my own, so we even had fun role-playing character lines. Yeah, things get lame sometimes with us. But it was fun to be called "Shamy" all weekend. Bazinga.


In other news, the Shamy couple also adopted a kitten this weekend! I can't bring him home to the apartment until after Jenelle and I are all moved in, but we are so excited!
Pet count for the future Mr&Mrs: 1 gecko and one kitten.

This little guy's name is Yetti (with two T's.)

He's an adorable little Tabby, with beautiful gray and white stripes and one heck of a personality. He's energetic and playful, and loves chewing on Billy's coat zippers as we found  today.

Luckily the two boys hit it off!! I may have kind of forced it, as I couldn't hold Yetti AND sign paperwork so naturally Billy had to hold the baby.

And now he is just as excited to bring him home as I am. I already have a pinterest board loaded with toy-making ideas. With my mom-ness and Billy's "Oh, I can make that" attitude, I'm sure we will have no shortage of things for Yetti to play with when we're not home. Oh! Yetti also has an extra toe! Hence the nickname "Yeti" at the shelter because of his hand-like paws and how big they are for him!

So an eventful 2 weeks it has been, with lots of packing and planning. By my next post, I will most likely be typing from my new apartment. Crazy! And possibly with a cat on my lap. Crying because I miss home.

People are really gonna need to give this girl some grace.

-Britney

It's More Than a House

 Well, its official, I'm moving out. That's right!
My friend, Jenelle and I, have signed a lease to move into a beautiful little apartment in the heart of Lakewood! Moving day is November 2nd. We shall bunk together until next summer when Bill & I are wed and he can move into the home I have set up for us. I am thrilled. I'm excited! I am so ready to start my life as an independent adult!
And yet my heart hurts to an amount that I have never felt before. And it's because I'm realizing, I'm not just leaving my house. I'm leaving my home.

I've been in this home since I was 3 years old.

We do literally everything here. Family get-togethers, Sunday family days every week, birthdays, picnics, clam bakes, you name it. Literally. My heart aches. I know I'm ready to move on, more than prepared to take care of myself. But I ache.

What will I do every morning without my mom to tell me "Shine! Shine! Shine!" ? What will I do without 30 pairs of little kids shoes to trip over? What will I do without dogs trying to trample me every time I come in the door? And the greatest question yet, what will my dad do when he doesn't have to use the bathroom in the backyard every morning because I take so long? (We leave for work at the same time in the morning.)

And the answers to all these questions are:

I have no freaking idea.

From all the cookies we've baked, to all the dishes we've broke and all the dinners we have eaten together. My house has been nothing short of the "homey home." I'ts always inviting, always full, and the Spirit of God dwells here. My mother has heard from numerous different people over the years that they "just want to take a nap" when they come over. And I believe it! My house has peace in it, even if it's tenants don't always radiate it. It radiates life, from its messy carpets, to its toy clutter and crayon on the walls.

I'm going to miss this.

So many Christmases (:

This year will be a big one anyway whether I moved or not, because for the first time I will be separated from my little brother Matthew. He joined the Navy and leaves on December 11th.

From that day on, (at least for the next 8 years) he will forever be states away from me.

And it's hard.

But life finds a way of taking you out of your comfort zone, letting God mold and move.

It will be interesting to see how it feels to drive to my house for Sunday cookouts, and then to leave in the evenings to get in my car instead of walking 5 steps to my bedroom.

(Which my sisters are THRILLED to get, by the way.)

I know it will take while to get used to, but it will happen.

And I know for a fact it will be way more wonderful when I can grab my husband's hand and get in that car with him.

It's a new chapter, a new beginning!

And at the same time, an ending of an era and a lull before the greatest adventure of my life as a wife.

All I know is I will miss this place.

My home. My safe place.

So as I dwell on this, I offer everyone a tip; please let me cope with this time in my own way.

"Life happens, you need to grow up sometime."

"Oh it's not so bad, everyone does it."

"This should be exciting, be excited!"

"Your own place, what could be cooler?!"

All are said with the best intentions, but all come to me void in my heart and mind.

Now, I know I am completely biased - obiously - but I beg to differ with anyone who tells me moving out is no big deal. They've never left my home or my family. I am not too young and free to realize this is the biggest thing that has ever happened to me, to date.

So here we go!! One big, crazy adventure.

I know I'll still probably be over my house multiple days a week, still let my mom cook delicious food for me and ask my dad for help on my taxes.

No matter where I go, that house is still my home.

It is forever in my heart, as are all the memories.

I'm asking God for strength- it is desperately needed.

The photo to the right is Jenelle and I moments after signing our lease.

As my fiance pointed out yesterday, there's no masking the joy.

It's crazy how you can feel two conflicting feelings whole-heartedly!

As always, this is only possible when you give a girl grace.

(Never more true than now!)

-Britney

That "moment"

My fiance and I had a "moment" today.
One of those brief snippets of time when we were both "Oh, this makes sense now."

When you've been with someone for so long and are s-l-o-w-l-y awaiting your wedding day, sometimes there are a lot of  "Why, God, why?" days.
Why do we have to wait so long?
Why do we see each other so little?
Why do we tend to argue more as time goes by?
And the answer is because we NEED to. I've never been naive to the fact that God has used our long relationship and engagement to only benefit us. 4 years away at college seems like forever, but there's days when God blesses you with a showing of His view of the "Big Picture" instead of our tiny little piece in time. And today we got that blessing!

Billy and I are sort of opposites.

In some ways were 100% alike, like our sarcasm and love of exercise. And other ways we are polar opposite, in ways such as problem solving or social interaction. When I'm angry I like to cool down and move on, while Billy is a "hammer-it-out-now" kind of guy. I'm a social person who will find anything to make conversation, while he refuses to talk about the weather just because that's the only thing to talk about. (Don't ever tell him we're having nice weather today.)

Our biggest disagreements have been in the area of child-rearing/choices. Sometimes we get funny looks when people hear us talking about such things before we're even married, but call us crazy, we'd rather figure this stuff out before "there's no going back." And it works for us. 

Its been tough. I guess you could say I'm sort of....a hippie. Home birth vs. Hospital birth, Breastfeeding without a cover, Vaccines vs. Non-vax, anti-infant circumcision, spending the extra dollar on healthier food choices. These are all battles we had to duke out together as a couple who would have to live together with our choices. And we've disagreed on every single one of these topics throughout the years. Some got really ugly, some were simple fixes between us. As a "crunchy" girl and him being in the medical field, you can imagine the debates. And to further that, when you know how stubborn both of us are, our coming to a like-minded solution really is nothing short of a dang miracle.

And today we solved another one. My heart soars when we reach the same opinion, especially when I know it's God's work in us. And we both know that if we had gotten married sooner, it would have been harder. So for a brief moment we can stand back and say "Okay, I see it." We needed these 4 years to get to know each other deeper before living in the same tiny room. Someone could get hurt.

Would we have made it if we went through all these struggles without being able to go home to different houses to defuse? I believe so. I know he's for me and I for him, so it will all work out. Would it have been a tougher road than I can even imagine? I don't even want to think about it.

I am a firm believer in giving relational disagreements to God. I've done it every time thus far, and it has blessed our relationship and my nerves. God will solve things on His time. Even in problems where I yell "Oh my gosh, he will never see where I'm coming from!" Even on the days when I knows he's right and I'm not (those are the worst! Right?) But we've always solved it. In time. 

Thank goodness for the big picture. And thank goodness for Billy's infinite wisdom that even though I am way more difficult than he deserves most days, everything goes smoother when you give a girl grace.

-Britney

I Think its Time...

^Andalou Naturals. Love it.

To buy new shampoo. Yeah, that's all.

People that know me personally know I don't wash my hair often. 

Only twice a month. And no, Its not gross.  

Its called "no-pooing" and even I don't follow the term to its exact definition because I do in fact use shampoo, just very rarely. True no-poo-ers don't use shampoo at all and use a homemade baking soda shampoo. (If anything)

So this lovely bottle of shampoo and conditioner has lasted me a grand total of....drum roll....

19 months!....and counting :)  (There's still a lot left in there!)

Early March 2012 I decided to start no-pooing to save my hair and scalp. I had dry hair, split ends enough for the entire population, and my hair got super greasy after a day. After countless attempts at growing my hair out over the years, I was getting frustrated. It would just get too dead to be grown out!

So I decided to give it a whirl. I bought this lovely shampoo from Earth Fare, and I'm not going to lie it was like $10. Each. But I figured it would last forever from then on out, so I wanted good quality, healthy shampoo.

The first part of my journey with no-pooing was indeed gross. I had to break my hair's oil cycle, and I would never wish such a terrible process upon someone. Just imagine not washing your hair for 3 weeks, right from the rip. It was terrible. Needless to say my hair did not leave a pony-tail.

I did this for about 2-3 cycles. By the end of it, my hair was saved (: I can now go 2 weeks without shampooing, and by the day I shampoo my hair looks like about what it would be after an average 3 days of not shampooing for a normal girl.

I love it, and I'll never go back.

My hair grows like a weed now. I consistently need haircuts every 6-8 weeks. And not because of split ends! I barely ever get those anymore. I need a haircut because it grows wildly and I lose my style. I've had the same hair stylist through this all (since I was 15/16), and even she says my hair is extremely healthy and soft every time I see her. Each haircut I get only a 1/4in taken off. Just 'cause I should. 

I love no-pooing. I love the results, I love knowing my scalp is healthy, and I love saving money.

And so does Billy.

-Britney

Happy shampooing!

The Life of a College Couple

Having a serious relationship while in college can be quite challenging. Having a serious relationship in college while only one of the two people actually attends college is even tougher. Have a serious relationship including both of these two scenarios and then adding in a drive time of 2 1/2 hrs between the two participants homes and you've got Billy & I.

I'm not one of those people that believes everyone needs to go to college. I won't list the reasons why, but if you want a good laugh on why college isn't for everyone you should totally watch this video on Youtube called  "5 Reasons College Could be a Waste of Your Time". It's great and that title will link you to it. Point being made, college wasn't for me so I chose to work full-time. (All those A's in school for none! Darn.)

As our story goes, Billy is one of the people that actually does need college to advance his career. And I fully support him! He even got a full scholarship, which is such a blessing knowing we won't have undergrad debt hanging over our heads when we start out. He is receiving a phenomenal education at OSU and he is better off there than anywhere else for his particular major.
Unfortunately, we realized after the fact that this particular major consumes almost all of his time away. So for the past 3 years of his college life we have been maintaining love by phone calls and 1 or 2 visits a month. Sometimes 6-8 week spans. And may I say, it is tough!
Not tough as in hard to keep the love, but hard to maintain a joyful heart in the midst of the toughness. If it weren't for God and the joy I get from spending time with Him, I honestly don't know how I'd handle it. I'm sure Billy would say the same. I do however have a whole new respect for military wives in the last few years! Goodness those women really have a God-given gift.

This all comes about on days like today when I just had to send Billy off, back on his long drive to school. He was home for a grand total of 24 hours, after a 2 week span and will be gone for the next 3. My heart just grows weary sometimes. We keep saying "Soon, very soon!" every time we get sad. So I'm clinging to that!
Soon enough there will be lazy Sundays that don't end in tears, mornings of brewing coffee and work send-offs, setting a table for two, and my absolute favorite- no more "Goodbye"s.

From the support my parents give me, to the great company our friends provide, to the love and encouragement I get at the feet of Jesus, I truly know that Billy & I's relationship really is only possible when you give a girl grace. And a lot of it.

-Britney
(Sending love to all of the other couples out there also enduring the college journey together!)

Confession {Of the White-Girl sort}

So my name is Britney. And I have a confession.

I love line dances.

Cupid shuffle, cha cha slide, etc. And now after today, the Wobble.

It's SO much fun. Have you ever done it? If you'd like to learn how and then give it a shot, click here. (Do it.)

Funny thing is, I am so "white."

I bake cookies and crochet. Not much else. One of my employees today even asked me, "Britney, have you always been 40 years old?"

And I really don't have a defense.

But I must say, God must have been having a humor-filled day when he gave the person the idea to invent this dance.

I could go on and on. I think everyone needs to find something ridiculous and just DO it sometimes. It relieves stress, it makes you laugh, and the best part- It will usually make others laugh too. I'm sure my cousin's downstairs neighbors probably didn't appreciate the 3 of us jumping around tonight though.

This post had nothing to do with grace, not much to do with anything relevant, really. Unless you count the grace I'm being given by my friends when they watch me try to dance.

Just wait 'til the wedding. (314 days)

-Britney

A Season of Change & Forgiveness

"Do not let the opinions of others consume you."

Wow. It's a lot to take in; such an easy statement, yet so much in it. If anyone is anything like me, your first reaction to reading or hearing such a quote is "Of course not! Why would you? I sure don't."

I so wish I let myself off the hook that easily sometimes. To say the least, its been a rough few weeks. I've let opinions about me from family, friends, and even coworkers get the best of me at times. There have been days where the only things that helps relieve my heavy heart is just a good, long cry with my daddy God.
Swarmed by the well-meaning and helpful words of "Just don't let it bother you"-s and "Why does their opinion matter?"-s from loved ones, you realize words can only go so far. But Jesus knows just how to solve all the heart-ache and woe-me's.

Forgiveness.

Whether you are a Christian or not, I don't think anyone would disagree that forgiveness isn't always the easiest thing to spew out. But I can attest from personal experience that it is a whole lot easier to dish out when I dwell on the grace I  have been given myself by Jesus. 

Earlier in the year, I faced a confrontation with someone that struck me to my core. An opinion from someone that a young woman at my stage in life desperately seeks approval from. Why did I let it affect me so? I have no Idea. It shouldn't have, really. But I am so happy to share, by the grace of God, I forgave that person just this past week. It took a few months, but hey. No reason why, it just sort of happened. And I felt that peace that Jesus always talks about- the kind that goes straight to your core and heart, filling you with love for them. Love! In fact, at the same exact time I reached forgiveness for this person, another relationship in my life dissipated with more negative opinions and I reached forgiveness withing a few days. My heart was on a roll! So much heaviness, met almost instantly with so much forgiveness! I thought I had finally found some rest, surely!

And then another opinion came around. With more disputes, lies and brokenness. All of this in 2 weeks! All I could keep saying is "God, why? Why so much pain? Why is it all seemingly my fault?" And what does He do? I go to church today and just get a boat load of happiness. And more forgiveness in my heart. And I know now that maybe my opinion can help change their circumstance.

 I believe in speaking life over people and circumstances. Instead of sulking over the negativity seemingly thrown my way, I choose to speak life over those people, speak blessing over their own hurt. And maybe, just maybe, grace will heal others around me just as much as it has for myself. (Even if at times, happiness does not show on my face).

I believe Autumn is more than just a season. For me at least, is symbolizes so much more; Change, shedding of the old, and beauty. Is it a coincident that today is the first day of Fall and I am reaching this revelation? I personally don't think so- I think God is just that good. A song we sang in church today really sums it all up.

"And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then who could stand against?"

And who can stand against? Who can stop us? Certainly not an opinion. Certainly not heart-ache. Certainly not lies, as awful as they may seem. We choose joy and we choose peace. And together, we will await the blessings that will unlock before our eyes. God's good for His word.
 As my fiance and I try and navigate this life together and feel out the paths God has for us, I am definitely learning more and more to expect extraordinary things when you give a girl grace.

-Britney

Wedding tasks are...well, tasks.

Guest lists, reception venues and churches, photographers and videographers....AH!

My brain has slightly exploded over the last few months with the wedding planning that has had to be done. I thought I had it all under control, thinking "Oh hey, this won't be so bad- I have Pinterest!" But I was wrong. (If anything, 'Pinning' things made it worse...it's like creative ADHD)

Don't get me wrong - I am loving every second of being a bride-to-be, and having a loving fiance who is willing to help makes everything worth-while. But I just can't stress how much there actually is to do.
And all the questions that go through your mind!

"Will my reception be fun?"
"Will my reception be TOO fun?"
"Will people think my dress is pretty?"
"Will I be pretty?"
"Do I really need waterproof makeup? What if I can't get it off?"
"Our guest list is HOW big?"
"Food & alcohol & flowers are expensive...do we really need any?"
"Do the bridal girls and I really need shoes? What's wrong with being 'earthy'?"
"Do people really pay for 300 tubes of bubbles?"

And the list goes on. In reality, Billy and I want our wedding to be so much fun for our guests. Frankly, I think I care a little too much sometimes. As I have also been told by countless others. Maybe they're on to something. But until then, I will continue.

I've been dreaming of this day since before my memory, and now with Bill in the picture it is a perfect dream. I know one day it will all be over, and once we settle into our new little home we will treasure the wedding memories. You only get one! So even though it is a lot of work, I embrace it. I pray that everyone that shares our "Big Day" with us walk away not only with good memories, but with blessings. I know God has big plans for us as a married couple, so I say, why not throw a big party?

As Billy has learned to deal with my constant stress, we both know wedding tasks go a lot smoother when you give a girl grace.

-Britney
(Thank you Billy!)

Welcome !

This is my new blog. I have never had one before, and am thrilled to be able to share stories, testimonies and interesting things that happen to me! (which is often). I am usually clumsy or have crazy stories with customers at work, so I don't believe there will ever be a dull day. Jesus fills my thoughts on a regular basis, as well as many other random things. I hope my stories are enjoyable, and thoughts relatable! A special thanks to my cousin, Alyssa, for helping me set this up (:

As I've learned many times over the past 2 years and can't wait to share, great things happen when you give a girl grace;
-Britney